YES-NO-EMBRACE-LET GO:

A REFLECTIVE EXCERCISE IN SETTING MEANINGFUL INTENTIONS FOR THE COMING YEAR

These simple words can guide you this coming year. If you spend a little time reflecting on what you want more of from your life, you can be sure you are acting from what’s most important to you right now. This is about cultivating a mindset and a resolve. It’s important to consider your values. Once you have your basic framework, you can allow yourself to deliberately create, or spot opportunities that fit with what you desire. Use the four questions below to visualize, journal, or doodle about what it is you really want the year to hold for you.

“In 2025 what do I want to say YES to?”

“In 2025 what do I want to say NO to?”

“In 2025 what do I want to EMBRACE?”

“In 2025 what do I want to LET GO of?”

Don’t rush it. This doesn’t have to be done all in one sitting. Give the questions time to percolate. You could post them on a white board, fridge, or jot them down and carry them around in your pocket for a couple of days. Alternately you might want to exchange thoughts out loud with a good friend or partner over dinner. Once you have allowed some mind wandering time, begin to articulate with pen and paper (or use markers). Consider handwriting or sketching your thoughts, at least initially. This engages different parts of your brain, can stimulate creativity, slow down and complete your thought process and help you retain your good ideas.

Give yourself freedom and flexibility. You can spend time refining your four statements over the next week or so. You also can change the intention completely if your life circumstances change, or you’ve gained further insight about what your emotional needs. Do rethink if you experience a change in jobs, if you have a new baby in the family, or when you experience a major loss of any kind.

Personally I like the expanse of a whole calendar year to carry out my intentions. Some people find it better, or less demanding, to shorten the timeframe, amending the basic questions to: “What do I want to say ‘yes/no/embrace/let go of’ over the next 3 months, 6 months, next academic semester, performance cycle, while the kids are still preschoolers, during my sabbatical?”. It’s really up to you. There are times, that I’ve created 2 sets of intentions, one for my personal life and an entirely different one for my career.

Once you have written out your intentions, periodically revisit them. It’s important to keep the intentions on your radar by posting them somewhere you will frequently come across them. You might also set an appointment with yourself every few months to review steps you’ve taken in the desired direction. You could choose to sit down with a good listener whom you trust (a loved one, or therapist) to revisit your intentions and gain their perspective.

Many people are making new years resolutions right now. These are often a set-up to fail. If you don’t reach your aim it is all to easy to diss yourself, letting your inner critic berate you. This is not to say establishing goals is bad or useless. There are times it does help to establish concrete goals, using a S.M.A.R.T. GOAL type framework and self-discipline, however it’s a much more self compassionate process to follow intentions than to measure up against pre-set outcomes.

Consider giving yourself this gift of reflection and direction, and discover what happens.

Be curious. Be open. Invite goodness and growth into your coming year.

Renate Giesbrecht MSW, RSW